Think of the first ten gay men you’ve seen portrayed by the media. How many are thin? How many are fat? If you can think of more than two fat gay men who were more than side characters, you’re already doing better than I am.
Cultures that endorse modesty and cultures that endorse hypersexualization are the *same* thing. Both define female sexuality by how it relates to the male gaze. In both cases the female body exists as an ornament either to be kept carefully hidden or put on display. Neither is an empowering feminist achievement.
iwillnotshavemyvagina:You know the analogy for sex that "a key that opens a lot of locks is a good key, but a lock that opens by many keys is a shitty lock," right?
me:yeah, I hate it.
iwillnotshavemyvagina:Well, I came up with a better one: "A bowl that holds many Cheetos is a good bowl; however, a Cheeto that's seen many bowls is a nasty Cheeto."
EDIT:iwilnotshavemyvaginamerelysaid this to me in a reiteration of hat she saw someone else say on tumblr. I never heard it before and thought it was cool, so credit is due where it's due--I just like the concept. :D
Recorded on my shit guitar missing an e using garage band on my essentially broken mac. The quality is not good. It cuts off suddenly at the end. Let’s not make me feel bad about what I already know is crappy!
The Washington Post is out with an excellent update on the history of the racist, homophobic, survivalist,nutcase newspapers that were published under his name in the 80s and 90s, which comes awfully close to confirming the most likely version of the story: He may not have written every word of them, but he sure signed off on them and wanted them written that way to pick up more subscribers and make more money.
The Post quotes Renae Hathaway, a Paul supporter and former secretary at Ron Paul & Associates, the company that published them, saying, “It was his newsletter, and it was under his name, so he always got to see the final product. . . . He would proof it.” Ouch.
And who could confirm that Paul was behind the editorial decision to make his newsletters so offensive? The head of the most prominent libertarian think tank in Washington D.C. should suffice:
Ed Crane, the longtime president of the libertarian Cato Institute, said he met Paul for lunch during this period, and the two men discussed direct-mail solicitations, which Paul was sending out to interest people in his newsletters. They agreed that “people who have extreme views” are more likely than others to respond.
Crane said Paul reported getting his best response when he used a mailing list from the now-defunct newspaper Spotlight, which was widely considered anti-Semitic and racist.
Let’s throw in one more anonymous source for kicks:
A person involved in Paul’s businesses, who spoke on condition of anonymity to avoid criticizing a former employer, said Paul and his associates decided in the late 1980s to try to increase sales by making the newsletters more provocative. They discussed adding controversial material, including racial statements, to help the business, the person said.
It’s a welcome reminder that the libertarian movement that’s now headquartered in lush glass, brick, and steel think tanks and research centers, populated by savvy young intellectuals, made its money in the early years by pandering to deep-pocketed extremist lunatics. This history doesn’t set it apart from that of many other proud American institutions, but after years of hearing petulant neener-neeners from all libertarians about how they’re the only group in American politics that lives and dies by profound moral principles and nothing else, let’s send a hearty neener-neener back their way.
But if you’re already dedicated to Ron Paul’s campaign, who cares? The goal here is to use the first viable libertarian candidacy in a major political party in some time to pick up enough delegates in nominating contests to matter, mathematically, and then leverage that into a major convention speech, insertion into the party platform, or role in playing kingmaker to the eventual nominee. The specific nominee’s editorial history from decades back — which wasn’t that different from the mainstream Republican party’s at the time — needn’t derail that. It’s just an icky compromise every supporter will have to make. (Neener neener.)
The list below was compiled with help from regular visitors to the “Survivor’s Post” forum of our message board. Thanks to AJ, Kiara, Lynn, Nancie, Sunny and Vella for the well thought-out posts that contributed. Getting Prepared Emotionally
Visualize yourself having left, going through everything, where would you stay, how would you feel, what would you do next, etc. If you start thinking through the process and about your reactions, it will be easier to deal with the reality of leaving.
Decide if and when you’ve had enough. You have to be sure that what you’re doing is the right thing for you and your children at the time. It’s a big change.
Keeping a diary or journal (hidden privately) can help. Many victims write journal notes or diaries as a way to sort out their feelings and the situation. It helps to have these notes to read through and reflect. If you keep a diary, be sure it is in a well-hidden place and cannot be found.
Realize staying is not a long term solution to protect yourself, your safety or your children’s safety. The classic pattern of abuse escalates over time. Think about what you want in your life and how you want your children to grow up. Ask yourself if the relationship or family situation is getting better or is it progressively getting worse.
Realize that there will still be problems to overcome if you leave and an abusive partner may still try to control you through emotional, financial or other means. Those who leave abusive relationships still face challenges; their lives improve greatly by leaving but they know there are challenges ahead and make a decision to face them. Many choose counseling or support groups to help themselves meet this challenge.
The key to safety planning is taking a problem, considering the full range of available options, evaluating the risks and benefits of different options, and identifying ways to reduce the risks. Here are some tips:
Gather together any documents you may need. Store them in a safe place such a bank safe deposit box, with a trusted relative or friend. Ensuring the documents are available if you must leave in a hurry due to danger, or are actually planning to leave, is important. Documents will help you in getting assistance, filing other paperwork and protecting your interests. These documents include:
Social security cards/numbers for yourself and any children
Birth certificates for yourself and any children
Medical records and immunization records for the children
Insurance cards or policy numbers
Bank account numbers (checking, saving, credit cards too) and a copy of any recent statements showing balances
List of everything of any value at all in the house that may later be needed for divorce court or distribution of property
Passport, green card, work permit and any other immigration documents
Children’s favorite toys, security blankets
Start putting back a little money here and there, just enough that isn’t going to be missed. Be prepared as much as you can be financially.
Mortgage payment book, copies of current unpaid bills
Pictures, jewelry, items of sentimental value
Pictures of injuries you may have gotten from your partner’s abuse
Any evidence that might help police in investigating your case, for example, threatening letters or phone message tapes
Is there anyone you can ask to call the police if they hear suspicious noises coming from your house or apartment?
If you need to get out of your house or apartment in a hurry, what door, window, elevator or stairwell will you be able to use in order to get out safely?
Where can you keep your purse, car keys and some change to make a phone call so that you can grab them quickly?
Is there a code word you can use with friends, family and/or your children to alert them to call for help? Do your children know how to use the phone to contact police?
If an argument occurs, how can you get to a room where there are fewer things that can be used as weapons? Avoid getting trapped in the kitchen, bathroom, basement or garage.
Counseling or a Support Group - When you leave an abusive relationship, you need support to help sort through the emotions, feelings of lost hopes, and rebuild your self esteem and personal strength. Counseling and support groups help many victims tremendously through this difficult time.
Let police help you - What the police can do for you depends in part on what you tell them or give them. Be as open as you can, help the police by telling them all you can. Any statement you give to the police is very important. Read your statement carefully and if there is anything that is incorrect, ask the officers to change the written statement so that it matches what actually happened. Sign it only when it says what you want it to say.
Get a Protective order or Restraining order - if you are afraid of your partner or that you will be pursued, or if violence has been shown previously; get a protective order. Many people think protective orders don’t work, but it is actually your first line of legal defense. Follow up, if the order is violated in any way, file charges.
Seek help and support from local domestic violence organizations and shelters - Programs offer safe shelter for victims and their children, resources and contacts to legal help, court advocates to assist you in court, and counseling or support group services. Look in your local phone book for these groups, call your local social services, or state or regional domestic violence coalitions for help and advice.
Legal help - Investigate your legal rights and position. You should feel comfortable when you talk to your lawyer and be sure that she/he understands your situation and knows how to help. If you do not have confidence in the first lawyer you speak with, you should seek another one. Your local social services or domestic violence organizations can usually refer you to a lawyer. Seeking legal help is particularly important to protect your safety, child custody and financial issues. Know your rights.
Family and Friends - The first place an abusive partner will look for you when you leave is with family or friends. Choose very carefully about where you will stay. If you fear the partner will become violent, then chose a shelter to protect everyone’s safety. Ask your family and friends for emotional support. Survivors of domestic violence and abuse need emotional support. Be careful to ask those closest to you, who you feel the abusive partner could never persuade. A survivor of domestic abuse cannot afford contact with anyone who may side or feel sympathetic with their former partner.
This list was developed by experienced domestic violence survivors - women who have already been through the challenge of leaving an abusive partner and made it.
“A great teacher can offer an escape from poverty to the child who dreams beyond his circumstance. Every person in this chamber can point to a teacher who changed the trajectory of their lives. Most teachers work tirelessly, with modest pay, sometimes digging into their own pocket for school supplies - just to make a difference. Teachers matter. So instead of bashing them, or defending the status quo, let’s offer schools a deal. Give them the resources to keep good teachers on the job, and reward the best ones. In return, grant schools flexibility: To teach with creativity and passion; to stop teaching to the test; and to replace teachers who just aren’t helping kids learn.”—
A MAJOR WIN for women’s health reproductive rights!
Fixed that for you.
My mom and I ate Thanksgiving dinner in the cafeteria of the hospital where she works (as a barista). I met a bunch of her coworkers/friends, including a woman who was about four months pregnant and who my mother told me had become pregnant despite already struggling to care for her two young children and despite really, really not wanting to become pregnant. The hospital where they work is a Catholic one (having driven the county hospital out of business years ago) and didn’t cover contraception for their employees; this friend had just scraped together enough money for a doctor’s appointment to get on birth control (no clinics like Planned Parenthood within a few hours’ drive; and the state contraceptive program won’t cover you if you’re insured, even if that insurance is Catholic and won’t cover contraception) when she got pregnant. Because of the social pressures of living in a small town, abortion was not an option from her from the moment she reached out to tell anyone she was pregnant and devastated.
It’s too late to help that woman and loads of others choose their own reproductive lives, but this is such a huge win against institutions like Catholic hospitals that monopolize health care in small towns and then raise costs and employ tons of people when there are no other jobs, effectively forcing tons of poor people to choose between being sexually active ever and controlling their own bodies.
privilege is simple:
going for a pleasant stroll after dark,
not checking the back of your car as you get in, sleeping soundly,
speaking without interruption, and not remembering
dreams of rape, that follow you all day, that woke you crying, and
is not seeing your stripped, humiliated body
plastered in celebration across every magazine rack, privilege
is going to the movies and not seeing yourself
terrorized, defamed, battered, butchered
seeing something else
riding your bicycle across town without being screamed at or
run off the road, not needing an abortion, taking off your shirt
on a hot day, in a crowd, not wishing you could type better
just in case, not shaving your legs, having a decent job and
expecting to keep it, not feeling the boss’s hand up your crotch,
dozing off on late-night busses, privilege
is being the hero in the TV show not the dumb broad,
living where your genitals are totemized not denied,
knowing your doctor won’t rape you
privilege is being
smiled at all day by nice helpful women, it is
the way you pass judgment on their appearance with magisterial authority,
the way you face a judge of your own sex in court and
are over-represented in Congress and are not strip searched for a traffic ticket
or used as a dart board by your friendly mechanic, privilege
is seeing your bearded face reflected through the history texts
not only of your high school days but all your life, not being
relegated to a paragraph
every other chapter, the way you occupy
entire volumes of poetry and more than your share of the couch unchallenged,
it is your mouthing smug, atrocious insults at women
who blink and change the subject — politely — privilege
is how seldom the rapist’s name appears in the papers
and the way you smirk over your PLAYBOY
it’s simple really, privilege
means someone else’s pain, your wealth
is my terror, your uniform
is a woman raped to death here, or in Cambodia or wherever
wherever your obscene privilege
writes your name in my blood, it’s that simple,
you’ve always had it, that’s why it doesn’t
seem to make you sick to your stomach,
you have it, we pay for it, now
do you understand
"I want to make a documentary that encompasses all areas in which we are discriminated against. The general population is not aware that discrimination against the gay community goes beyond marriage & bullying. There is far too much hate directed towards our community and I want to capture that hate on camera. In addition, I want to explore where this hate comes from, why it continues to exist, and what we must do to get rid of it. A better solution is needed because the solution we have right now isn’t working fast enough.
I am not a second class citizen. You are not a second class citizen. Right now, the laws in place (and lack thereof) say that we are. Let’s change that.”
(copied directly from the website linked above)
I am absolutely in love with this documentary; as I sat in front of my computer watching this, I was in tears. Not only because of the raw beauty of this film, but because of the comments made on the version of the video posted on YouTube. The downright ignorance and hateful statements disgust me. Stop the hate; stop telling people that they’re wrong for loving who they want; stop telling them they’re going to hell because they’re “abnormal”; stop using an outdated text filled with stories as the foundation to your argument (and stop picking and choosing which of the stories you follow based on which you do or do not like); just stop.
You have no right to tell people they’re wrong and treat them as if they’re lower than you. No matter who you love, what you look like, what sex you are, what gender you are, we are all human beings and we deserve to be treated as equals. It’s time for all of us to stop this hateful nonsense and start acting like human beings.